Kabbalah By Heart

Allison Gilbert, LMFT, Certified Kabbalah Coach


This blog comes from my heart. I want to share the Judaism that Jews are yearning for. To help them access the beautiful wisdom coming from their own back yard, ancestors and tribe. And this is for non-Jews as well, to come to know that what has evolved into Western Civilization has come from a depth that is ancient and rarely revealed and mostly distorted due to mistranslations and cultural appropriation and blind anti-semitism. 

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Jews for Judaism

Posted on July 4, 2021 at 2:30 PM

There is a website that I like to learn from and it's also an organization that I like to donate to.  JewsForJudaism.org helps to combat the anti-Semitism that tries to convert Jews to other religions.  Their specialty is to help Jews who have been coerced into christianity by missionaries.  I especially like to learn from them about distortions and mistranslations xtians use from our Torah to prove things that are just completely wrong. So many Jews are influenced because they just don't know the actual translations and meanings of said texts.

This week I watched a video on the erroneous chapter of Isaiah 53.  "Erroneous" because the imposition of chapters in Isaiah are not placed there by our Jewish sages but rather by xtians.  I learned that the book of Isaiah is really full of promises that the hated ones (Jews) will eventually become the honored ones.  And this will shock the rest of the world.  We read Isaiah as a ritual after the day of mourning for the destroyed Temples.  Those passages are a comfort to us.

I love this video.  It made me feel better knowing it was a temporary situation that this misinformation that has spread throughout the entire world, based on a theology of hating Jews (xtianity) and making into a god a man who was supposedly an iconoclast.  It helped me see G-d's hand in the spread of these destructive interpretations of our holy book through the spread of an anti-Semitic theology.  It's like it is G-d's plan to spread the disinformation over the entire world so that when the truth comes out, many, many will be shocked into a mind-blowing, mind-opening spiritual awakening!

Ha!  I love it.  I spend too much time frustrated with all the adoration of a guy who isn't even seen as having been Jewish!  It makes me so angry that credit is not given where credit is due.  Instead, xtian theology makes Jews into the devil incarnate with horns and huge noses while making that guy J.C. into a complete "Adonis" - with no huge nose anywhere!  I even had a friend of mine tell me, "well, he wasn't an Orthodox Jew"....what do you think they were back then?  Reform Jews?  So hilarious, if it wasn't maddening!!

Yes, I've got an enormous chip on my shoulder and can rant and rave about this for a very long time.  I have experienced first-hand this kind of anti-Semitism coming out of that theology.  Even my first college roommate, when I told her I'm Jewish said, "but I thought Jews were a mythical character and had horns!"  She'd been educated pre-college, her whole life in a catholic school, plus her mom was Syrian - does that mean you won't know what Jews are?  Real Jews?

Here's a lovely, short video that Chabad put out explaining what is Judaism where you can also get a quick overview of what is a Jew?  youtube.com/watch?v=yx-_IhUcAmk

We are now starting the 3 Weeks of Mourning that is prior to the day when the original Temples in Jerusalem were both destroyed on the same day hundreds of years apart.  It is a very meaningful time and is the anniversary of my husband's death on Tammuz 29.  My life has always seemed to mirror the Jewish calendar and so my connection to the cycles of the year and the seasons and holidays seems almost comical.  You can read my story of why I created the Kabbalah classes I once taught in my office (which are now online) here.  There I have made the month of Tammuz which starts the countdown of the 3 weeks, available to view for free.  You can find it here.  It also contains an article about why a calendar class and how I came to teach this series.

Even though we now have a country of our own, we still consider ourselves to be in the Roman exile that started 2021 years ago with the destruction of the 2nd Temple.  Until the New Age comes - The World To Come - we won't believe we've been taken out of exile.  It is with the coming of Moschiach that all gets restored and Jerusalem becomes the center of the spiritual world for all mankind and peace comes to the world that we can feel our exile is over.  It will bring a shock to the world that the messiah isn't "he", as we read in Isaiah, that the Jewish people, the hated ones, will be recognized and no longer hated but valued and honored.  May we see this in our day, AMEIN!!!

It's All Found in Judaism

Posted on April 18, 2021 at 5:20 PM

Here's a thought, What if everything that is coming out now in the world of psychology and spirituality in modern times, was already discussed by our sages hundreds and thousands of years ago?  Well, it's completely True!  I have been taught by learning from Rav Doniel Katz that everything's been there all along but we just did not notice it.  Or I wonder, maybe it was too deep and we now have the secular world helping us to decode it. But when I look at certain quotes from our teachers of the past, I see "mindfulness", EMDR, IFS, and the "Law of Attraction".

So what are these quotes?

Here's one that sounds like "Mindfulness". It was originally published in 1808:


 The reason that people are distant and disconnected from God/Hashem and fail to grow closer to Him is simply because they lack yishuv ha’daas and are unable to settle and still their consciousness. Therefore, the main focus of a person’s quest - should be to attempt to settle and still ones daas fully. One should constantly consider: What is the purpose of all these desires I pursue, and all the distractions of this world, and where are they leading me? Both the bodily desires and sensory pleasures, as well those external to the body like the need to receive k'vod (honor) from others. If a person would meditate on this, they for sure they would soon be able to settle their daas and return and reconnect to the Divine. (Rabbi Nachman of Breslov, Likutey Moharan II, 10)

 © Elevation OSB 2021.

Here's another one that seems similar to Mindfulness from a Rabbi who went through the Holocaust with his community, while watching all of his family murdered and finally being murdered himself with his entire community.  His writings were buried and found many years later in Warsaw, Poland where they were ghettoed. His writings are from the early 1930's:



A persons yesh (ego-consciousness) directly opposes hashraah mi’marom (the "coming down" and revealing of the Divine Consciousness within him.) When our own ego-based machshavos (thoughts) are busy and awakened within, it is hard for the Divine consciousness to penetrate through and be revealed. Therefore it is essential to learn how to silence the machshavos (thoughts) and ratzonov (desires and middos) that constantly flood a person’s consciousness, seemingly without end. Because the nature of machshavah is that each thought gets bound and entangled with the next—until it becomes extremely hard for a person to disconnect and free himself from them. The Piasetzna Rebbe gave very practical instructions on how to quiet one’s machshavos and silence the flow of thoughts. He said that the person should begin by observing his thoughts for a short period of time and consider in his mind “What am I thinking?” As a person continues to do so, they will slowly notice that their mind begins to empty, and their machshavos cease from their constant habitual flow.

 (Rabbi Kalonymous Kalman Shapira, Piasetzna Rebbe, Derech HaMelech, Inyan Hashkatah)

I directly copied the above from the Source book that can only be accessed through Rav Katz's Teacher's Training Program.

Here's one that seems like EMDR from the founder of the Hasidic Movement, the Baal Shem Tov, from the 1700's:

Tzava'at Harivash 80

By Rabbi Israel Baal Shem Tov; translated and annotated by J. Immanuel Schochet

Published and copyrighted by Kehot Publication Society

Sometimes you need to gaze in different directions in order to attach your thought to the Creator, blessed be He. This is necessitated by the materiality of the body which is an obstructing barrier to the soul. Read the text here.

I directly copied the above from the Source book that can only be accessed through Rav Katz's Teacher's Training Program.



Here's one that's similar to the "Unblending" idea from IFS (Internal Family Systems therapy technique).  It's written by a medieval commentator on the "Old testament who lived in the 11th Century - named, Shlomo Yitzhaki, known as Rashi.  It's a great explanation of the times when we are so blended with our pain there is no Daas (Self) to hold it and instead we ARE it instead of holding it. Similarly to IFS - we have to be able to hold the exiled part, and be separate from it:



 COMMENTARY ON TANACH (Bible, Torah, Old Testament)

 The Israelites journeyed on from Hor Mountain, going by way of the Red Sea so as to skirt the territory of Edom. Vatiktzar nefesh ha’am ba’derech - the soul/consciousness of the people became stressed, constricted, and pained, because of the duress of the journey. The people spoke out against Hashem and Moshe, “Why did you take us out of Egypt to die in the desert? There is no bread and no water, and our soul is disgusted with this flimsy, wafer-thin manna.” (Numbers 21:4-5)

“Vatiktzar nefesh ha’am ba’derech”: The soul of the people became katzar (constricted, pained) because of the torach ha’derech (duress, hardship, challenges of the journey). They said, “We were so close to entering the Land, and now we are traveling in the opposite direction. This is exactly what happened to our parents, as a result of which they ended up wandering in the desert these thirty-eight years.” Their souls, therefore, felt constricted due to the duress/affliction of the way. In Old French, ankro-delor (yiush, despair). The expression kitzur nefesh is used whenever a person experiences a difficulty—when they feel overburdened. The reason for this is that their daas (mind) is not "large and expanded" enough to accept and handle it. There isn’t enough space and place in their heart for this pain to dwell.  In sum, every instance of kitzur nefesh indicates that a person cannot endure the pain, for his daas is not there to help him endure, handle and contain it. (Rashi, Numbers 21:4)

Directly copied from Rav Katz through the Teacher's Program: https://elevationproject.com/teacher-training/

Here's another one that seems to point to the "Self" talked about in IFS.  It uses the word, "consciousness" instead of the word, "Self", while "Rachash" and "animal soul" seem to me to be "Parts" in IFS language. It also seems to be talking about something similar to "Unblending" technique of IFS.  This quote is referring to a book from the 1700's but was written in the 1930's:




Look within yourself—you who are willing to listen and hear deeply—and you will see that this is a fundamental principle in human consciousness: If you give over your attention to any rachash (internal movement, stirring, feeling, sense) that arises from your animal soul—whether it is a rachash of dimyon (fantasy, imagination), a ratzon (desire), a hargashah (feeling) of love, fear, or any other middah… If you begin delving into this rachash, by thinking about it and focusing on it, then through this attention you will actually strengthen it and cause it to become more emotionally charged, which will cause it to draw you in even more. However, if you don't invest your attention within the rachash itself, but rather around the rachash, meaning that you attend to the general felt-sense and awareness that the rachash is there, that the dimyon is just there, that the desire is just there, that the emotional arousal of love or fear, etc. are just there, then on the contrary, rather than increasing in intensity, through attending to it with your consciousness in a more general way - the rachash will weaken, dissipate, and even cease completely. It doesn't even take any complex "attending" to it to make this effect occur. Just by simply observing it, and giving your general attention to that machshavah or a rachash within—by making it an object of one’s awareness as opposed to allowing it to take over one’s awareness—this soon weakens the rachash and the machshavah until soon, it will be there no more. (Rabbi Kalonymous Kalman Shapira, Piasetzna Rebbe, Hachsharas Avreichim)

Here's the explanation of what we in modern terms call, "Law of Attraction":

First, we all know the 10 Commandments.  These were, according to Jewish thought, brought down to us by Moses from Mt Sinai, 3000 years ago.  There is one commandment that is specifically referring to what we now call the Law of Attraction (or in Jewish terms, our Koach HaMoshech - our Power of Drawing).  Since it is understood and accepted that we can draw things to ourselves - just by our thoughts or desires - it goes to say that one of the moral things to do about this power is to "Not Covet", which is one of the 10 commandments.  It's wrong to draw things to us that aren't supposed to be ours!!  Now who'd have thought this was a commandment based on the belief in the Law of Attraction?!!!

And last, from the ancient, main text of the Kabbalah is called, The Zohar, believed to be written in the first century.  In it we find this quote sounding similar to the "Law of Attraction": 

Everything that exists and happens in our world is not dependant on anything other than our will and intent. (Zohar, Terumah, P. 162, Amud 2)

And the last on the "Law of Attraction", this quote from 1748:




 On the verse, “The doer of evil suffers many afflictions; but one who trusts (boteach) in Hashem is surrounded by love.” (Psalms 32:10), the Maggid of Mezritch wrote: our master the Baal Shem Tov, may his merit protect us, explained, “wherever a person directs his mind and thoughts, that is where he is bound.” If he thinks judgmentally, he is bound to judgment (din). If he trusts (boteach) in Hashem’s loving-kindness, his soul is bound there, which causes him to be “surrounded by love.” One should therefore constantly seek to take refuge in their Divine Source. This is the opposite of what Job said, “Because I feared fear, it has overtaken me; the exact thing I dreaded has come upon me” (Job 3:25), and “I (Hashem) will bring upon them the very thing they dread” (Isaiah 66:4). (Mekor Mayim Chayim, Amud HaTefillah §31, from Shoshanim LeDavid, quoting the Maggid of Mezritch)

© Elevation OSB 2021.

All of the above quotes were directly copied off the Online Sourcebook that can be accessed through joining Rav Doniel's Teacher Training

So why do I care that these things were already articulated by Jews for Jews many, many years ago?  And why is there a pain deep in my heart over the incredible depth and clarity that we find already spelled out by Jews that no one even knows about?  Because I care about the sacred souls of my community who have been searching elsewhere but haven't found their sense of belonging or home.  It feels really good as a Jew to know that these quotes are my people, this is my community, these are my ancestors.  And to ask why it has been so concealed, allows me to awaken to the fact of my own desire to hide.  Amidst the flames of anti-Semitism that have plagued our people, it's no wonder that even WE don't know that this all exists and has existed for millennia and just have been untranslated and not taught.  

It's Passover!! Myth or Truth?

Posted on March 29, 2021 at 3:20 PM

This Passover was for me a game-changer.  I have led many seders in my life and this was the first one I did all by myself.  And it was FANTASTIC!  

Previously I had led groups of people, including my family.  And I've always felt rushed and that I need to make it interesting and along with all of that, I was the one to make the meal and set the table, etc., etc.  It all fell on my shoulders.  Stressful.  But since my husband died 8 months ago, I've not been able to push myself into anything with the slightest bit of stress.  (More on this coming in another aritcle.)  But Covid or none, doing a seder all by myself was so nice.  I loved it.

I went through a Passover Haggadah that I've always wanted to use but only had one copy of.  It's got these wonderfully realistic pictures.  Gadi Pollack, an Israeli Illustrator who's published 45 books, is the artist.  All of the illlustrations are "based entirely on the teachings of our Sages."  It's "unusually graphic" because it comes from the premise that the story of the Exodus REALLY happened.  As an example of something just awful that is said to have happened is that the Pharoah had a skin disease (tzaraas) and bathed in Jewish children's blood!  This is actually depicted in this book!  Ugh!

Aside from its graphic nature, this is an absolutely gorgeous Haggadah.  It is called "The Katz Passover Haggadah - The Art of Faith and Redemption." amazon.com/Katz-Passover-Haggadah-Redemption-Bilingual/dp/1583306005

In the back of the book there's an article on proofs that the Exodus was a TRUE historical event.  First of all, did you know that many things have been discovered archeologically that prove the event really happened?  Yes!  But of course, and for many Jewish people, these events have always been seen as part of our history, told from parent to child to grandchild for thousands of years.  The author of the article in the back of the book is Rabbi Mordechai Neugroschel.  It's titled "The Exodus From Egypt: Fact or Myth?" There he sites an interesting papyrus that was written by an Egyptian Poet, Ipuwer, thousands of years ago.  There Ipuwer writes about things happening in Egypt that sound very much like the Plagues that are written in the Torah.

 Here's an article you can read about this poet: ohr.edu/838  And here are links to the trailer of a movie I saw once called "Patterns of Evidence".  It's about archeological finds that seem to prove the existence of an event like the Exodus.  patternsofevidence.com  The movie was made by non-Jews but my rabbi's father, Manis Friedman, was featured in it. 

I think it's very exciting to learn about the evidence of this great event because I love feeling connected to my ancestors.  It gives me a sense of pride when I remember that the actual Torah itself (Old Testament) goes back so many thousands of years.  Did you know that every time a new parchment of the Torah is written, if there is even a broken letter - let alone, a misspelled word or any mistake at all - the entire book is found unusable?  This is amazing to me - that a book like the Torah was preserved like that for thousands of years!

And remember, the experiences of the freedom from slavery in Egypt, along with the revelation at Mt Sinai, were events that the Torah claims thousands of people went through.  So unlike any other religion where miracles and revelations were only witnessed by a few.  Our Jewish traditions, like observing the Seder on Passover and telling the story of the Exodus are behaviors that have been passed down for thousands of years.  It's a complete miracle that Jews who have lived in the furthest corners of the globe all have the same practices even without any interaction with each other and read from the exact same Torah and observe the same traditions with very little differences.  That, my friends is truly incredible.

It makes me excited to be Jewish.

If you want to learn more about classes on the Jewish Holidays, Kabbalah,  Jewish History and Judaism itself, go to my teachable website: kabbalahwisdom.teachable.com/courses/kabbalah-and-judaism-101  There you will be able to see some F.REE classes, including my Kabbalah Cards Class.

Purpose of Self-Transformation from a Kabbalah Perspective

Posted on February 2, 2020 at 4:00 PM

I am taking a class from Rav Doniel Katz in his Elevation Project and decided to post here my homework answering a specific question:

What is the purpose of meditation and emotional transformation from the Torah’s perspective?

Torah and especially Kabbalah explained by Hasidut gives a beautiful understanding of the purpose of emotional transformation and the reasons for meditation. And it all surrounds its answers regarding the meaning of life and why we exist as human beings. It answers the very questions that are the most important in living a life well.


Firstly, if we don’t answer these questions, the healing of a human being psychologically, spiritually and socially isn’t going to be complete. The very answers Torah gives to the meaning of life, allows for the greatest possible healing that any person can have. It goes beyond the simple surface levels that the secular mindfulness and power of attraction ideas put forth because the meaning of life has nothing to do with acquiring a better car or relationship or more money.


In fact, allowing a person to answer the most important questions of his life surrounding meaning and purpose from a Torah’s perspective has nothing to do with acquiring anything other than re-building the personality from the inside. It holds that we are responsible for our Inner World. And it affirms that any of the challenges that we find within our Outer World is exactly what we need to recreate ourselves and thereby recreate our external world.


Torah posits that the inner world can be filled with fallen beliefs that are not true. It is these beliefs that get addressed and transformed through a connection to a Higher Truth. As the fallen beliefs and emotions contact Torah, they are uplifted and we create a Higher world down in the lowest of all levels of worlds. This is the plan and purpose of our existence. We are creating a heaven on earth.


The ultimate purpose of our existence is that we are the bridge between the Divine and the earth through the transformation of our consciousness. And the only way to bridge the two is through our own choice to access the Good, Healthy and True. This way, we enable Hashem to gain the pleasure of accomplishing His Original Plan, to give the Ultimate Good which is the experience of His Divinity. But we can only experience that if we choose it for ourselves.


Consciously choosing what we most need to learn from our challenges is the beginning of a connection with the Higher realms. Meditation and prayer help us to access those Higher realms and bring them down into the lower ones thereby transforming ourselves so that we connect more and more to our own Divine Souls and selves. The ultimate outcome in Torah and Hasidic thought is to become supernatural beings in the image of the Divine, living on an earth where the spiritual is seen and experienced everywhere.


As we become more and more like Him, the actions we do in the world are aligned more and more with goodness and truth. Our challenges externally and internally become the very places we open up a channel for Divine Light. They enable us to see the depth of the blocks we have to that Light and enable us to choose differently. Victimhood becomes a way of the past as we access our true potential.


Reach for the Light

Posted on October 28, 2018 at 5:05 PM

I just had to write today in response to the recent tragedy in Pittsburgh. I especially wanted to share with you the Jewish response to any tragedy or darkness and that is to reach for the Light.

My rabbi, Yochanon Friedman, of ChabadbytheSea.com said something that inspired me to send out this email: we need to respond to this tragedy by bringing more kindness and holiness into the world. I have a card that represents this:

You can find my rabbi's beautiful teaching here in his latest video: https://www.facebook.com/ChabadbytheSea


I have had many sorrowful things happen in my life. And with the biggest ones, my battle with breast cancer, my husband's illness, I have had the pull towards responding with more darkness within my own soul and hear my inner child kicking and whining, "I don't want to go down this path!!!" And yet slowly and surely, I find the strength to hold to the Light and focus myself on where I am headed and what good will come out of this. If I didn't believe in G-d and G-d's hand in everything and believing in the promise of Geulah, I would never get through this dark exile called, life.


My plan is to have a new Kabbalah Cards class prepared to teach in S. Cruz by the last night of Chanukah when all the candles are lit - Sunday, December 9th - a day-long class. (hold me to it!) That's one thing I hope to do in response to this tragedy. I feel like my purpose is to help people know the beauty that lies within the holy Jewish Kabbalah traditions and teachings - for all people but especially for Jews, to help them feel pride in their awesome heritage! Here's a fun song about that:

Jewish Pride - song on YouTube

There are around 150 of you on my email list. How did you get here? Several ways:


You signed up for my free online Kabbalah Cards Class at kabbalahwisdom.teachable.com/

You are a relative, friend, classmate, client or previous client

You are a student of mine in S. Cruz or have come to a free class

However you came to my email list, I welcome you and hope that I have helped you in your reach for the Light. And I hope you will spread more kindness and holiness in response to the tragedy. Let's build Geulah and bring it NOW!

If you wish to receive a Jewish calendar, just email me with your address. I will send you one! They have an explanation for all of the holidays inside and beautiful art, along with candle-lighting times for S. Cruz. They also let you know what Torah portion we read that week!

Much Love and Light,


Jewish PTSD

Posted on September 2, 2018 at 4:35 PM

I have had the idea to write about this for many weeks now and just wasn't feeling comfortable enough to do so until today. This subject will reveal a lot of my own blocks and insecurities but I have been thinking it would be more interesting for me to get real than to give you some facts about Judaism and Jewish holidays.

Today a new caregiver showed up to give me respite with my husband every Sunday. I am so grateful for that and feel so blessed to have that support. But Visiting Angels usually calls me prior to a new person coming - just to give me their name and ask if a new person would be OK. They hadn't called me this time. So when "Sayyid" showed up with a backwards baseball cap and a long string of beads on a necklace that was mostly hidden by his shirt, I went into a panic. My first thoughts were about there being a conspiracy at Visiting Angels to not tell me that a Muslim man was showing up to my oh so Jewish appearing house with all the mezuzot on every door! No hiding!!!

But If they had told me his name prior to his coming, would I have said no? Of course not! But so goes the Jewish PTSD.


Once I chatted with him briefly, thanking him for doing my dishes, my fears that he was going to hate us subsided.

The first time I ran into anti-Semitism in my life was when my girlfriend/neighbor said that her mom told her she knew my mom was Jewish because she used foul language. To this day I have never told my mom that she said that. And I sort-of believed her or at least began to question my own heritage.

This "friend" revealed this to me when we were younger than 10 but her actions only got worse once we were older. I remember in middle school she tried to convert me and got me scared that my Judaism was a "dead religion" and if I couldn't stand being in silence without listening to music then the Devil had a hold of me. I learned early that "friendly" Xtians only wanted to "help" me not end up in Hell, so trying to convert me was their attempt at being nice.

So I did develop a chip on my shoulder though perhaps you could just call it Jewish PTSD.

I also developed an insecurity about my own religion. Maybe my friend was right. The Judaism I was taught and grew up with surely did lack what I was looking for. Was it "dead"?


Later in high school I found Chabad. At the time I was stunned by this Hasidic sect. I had no idea that Jews in black hats and long beards still existed. Plus, I was astonished that they actually practiced the central Jewish prayer, The Shema, in a way that it was intended, "when sitting in your house, when walking along the road, when lying down, and when rising up..." I was smitten at that moment when I found a LIVE, breathing, Living Judaism in Chabad.

And I have been enamored with Chabad ever since. It has helped me come to know the Judaism that the Holocaust, pogroms, forced conversions, and suicide bombings has never been able to silence. It's a Judaism that is vibrant, enjoyable, deep, mystical and radiant. It has introduced me to an incredibly prolific 3,000 years of writings to study, learn, ponder and feel pride in. It has answered the most basic and profound spiritual questions my limited mind can come up with. It has helped me to deal with my life and my challenges. It has given me something that I want to teach others. It has given me my purpose to help other Jews know how great their heritage is and how they too can apply it to their lives.

It has given me my passion: Kabbalah. My favorite class right now is Rav Doniel Katz's The ElevationProject.com

These days I am still connected to Chabad and feel so lucky to get to participate in High Holiday Services at the famous Dream Inn with it's fabulous view! It will be magical.

One time I told a friend that I thought Judaism was the best religion of all that I have studied. She made me feel like I shouldn't say something like that. That instead I should be more open to validating others' religions and spirituality. But I wondered, if someone who was of a different religion told her that they thought theirs was the best, would she have had a problem with that? Or was that just my Jewish PTSD danger signal going off again?

But honestly, in my humble opinion, it IS the BEST! And I only want to learn from the originators of the Bible and know the deepest translations in it's original Hebrew language from the people who know the download direct from Moses!!! Like this one:

Truly, I have my guard up still and have spent my time immersing in and feeling pride in my own backyard. And there is nothing wrong with this. And through the years, as I have felt more confident in the beauty and depth of my own traditions, I have had my Jewish PTSD shrink a bit and have been able to resist all of the other attempts at conversion that have come my way without a huge guard up. And as my own insecurity in my background dissipates, I am more open to others holding their own beliefs.

Happy Jewish New Year!

Blood Moon, Eclipse and the Jewish Day of Love

Posted on July 27, 2018 at 8:40 PM

Today I pulled my Teshuvah card for the day and wrote in my journal that I am returning to believing I am surrounded by love and worthy of support. It seems appropriate to the challenges I am going through in my life of being a caregiver for my husband.

It also seems appropriate for today, the blood moon, eclipse and Jewish day of love.

I'll bet you didn't know that today is a Jewish holiday. Yes! and it's a day that celebrates LOVE!

In the Talmud it says that this day, the 15th of the month of Av (called, Tu B'Av), is a day that was celebrated with dancing maidens all dressed in white. It was a day for finding your "Bashert", your soul mate. During times when the Temple still stood, men would go out into the field to find their bashert on this day. And it was celebrated as a day that was even more important than Yom Kippur!


The Talmudic story does tell us about an actual event but it also uses the metaphor of dancing maidens to explain the differences between the souls of human beings. When it comes to the ability to love Gd, Hashem, there are 3 differences. And so I think it explains what it means to love, be loved and experience love.

1. There's the person who is full of love naturally. This kind of soul is just made that way. If you have this kind of soul, you are so lucky.

2. There's the person who can create love even if it doesn't come naturally. This is the kind of soul who is able to generate loving feelings through thought and action.

3. Last, is the person who doesn't know how to create a feeling of love and can't receive the love that's given and doesn't know love even when it's right there. This is the kind of person who the Talmud says needs to be bedecked with jewels from Hashem. This person can learn to feel love and beloved.

Read this article if you want to know where I got this stuff: chabadbythesea.com...

So I bless you all with the ability to feel love when it's given to you, generate love if you're just not feeling it, and feel the kind of love that wells up naturally from the depths of your soul.



There is NO Fire & Brimstone!

Posted on June 8, 2018 at 6:25 PM

You might be surprised but as a therapist, I work with mostly non-Jews. I live in Santa Cruz, California and most of California except for pockets in the Los Angeles area is predominately Christian. In fact, growing up, I was the only Jew in most of my classes. One time in elementary school I forgot to bring in a hard-boiled egg to dye for Easter and was punished by the teacher. So you might say, I have been quite acclimated to living in a Christian society.

As a Jew growing up in what's called a "Judaeo-Christian" society, you also get bombarded with the ideas prevalent within the Christian dogma, like punishment, hellfire and damnation, and along with that: fear of the Devil. Many of my clients report rejecting the Christianity of their youth because it made them feel so badly about themselves and in so much fear. But no matter what religious upbringing you have, seems there's no escape from the idea of a punishing G-d. That's why I love studying Hasidic Kabbalah. It makes me realize that "Judaeo-Christian" is a misnomer - there is no real Judaism in it.

In real Judaism, as taught in the Hasidic Kabbalah I've learned through Chabad, G-d is not the old, angry man in the sky. In fact, the only "hell" is what you feel after dying when your soul does a life review. There really is no need to "Imagine no hell below us and above us only sky." Ha!! John Lennon would have liked to know the truth instead of the co-opted dogma brought by the sons of Esau who are still trying to steal back the birthright. There is no Satan either. In fact, when you only have One G-d, there is nothing else, "Ain Od Milvado". "The satan" is merely an angel of G-d who tries to trip us up so we are able to have free choice. If you have many gods then you will get a Satan, right? (here's a good, short video on this: https://youtu.be/W1ZmGdLGZgM)

In real Judaism there is no emphasis on doing the right thing in order to get into heaven either. In fact, "right and wrong" comes from Adam and Chavah (in Hebrew her name is NOT Eve/evil) who ate the apple from the Tree of Knowledge of Good & Evil thereby giving us a world of natural consequences and free choice.

The emphasis in Judaism is instead not about getting to heaven but on making this world a heaven on earth.

This month on the Jewish calendar, contains the holiday where we commemorate the day that we received the Torah, including the 10 commandments and the 7 Noahide Laws. This information was given to us so that we share it with the world and so things would go well here on earth. By knowing the Divine Order of things, we can for the most part, work with, instead of against, the laws of cause and effect. Ultimately though, we will go beyond the laws of cause and effect when we have finally built a heaven on earth. Then our lives will be miraculous.

The Critical Inner Parent is the part of us developed in childhood that wants us to believe in crime and punishment. It creates the idea of a scary G-d/Parent who judges and punishes. It's an immature perspective on G-d that we use to try to keep safe. It is a false safety based on the hope that we can avoid bad things happening - which we really can't. In truth, things happen that cause and effect can't predict - which is why we have the question, "why do bad things happen to good people?" In Hasidic Kabbalah though, we learn that the "bad" things that happen are the way we co-create a heaven on earth and become unlimited.

Next month on the Jewish calendar, we confront the story involving our building a golden calf right after hearing the voice of G-d at Mt. Sinai. (How could we have done such a thing?) For this class I will explain the Jewish calendar through the lens of my year of cancer treatment. So this will give everyone in the class a way of understanding why I teach this class and how you too can see your own life mirrored in the energies present in the Jewish calendar.

Hope you can join the class in Soquel, CA. Please RSVP if you want to attend. Next class is a week from today: Sunday, 6/10 at 1pm.



P.S. If you are Christian but don't follow the religion and want to know what the Torah (Old Testament) has for you, there is something called "The Noahide Laws", which were given to all of the descendants of Noah, i.e: everyone. Go to AskNoah.org to answer any of your questions and 7LawsofNoah.com

The Mystical Number 7

Posted on May 4, 2018 at 8:20 PM

Doesn't it seem random that there are 7 days in a week? Why not 10? Over the millennia different cultures have tried to establish other configurations to the week but none of them have stuck. The month makes sense - the number of days in the moon cycle. The year is the number of days that the earth rotates around the sun. But why 7 for the week?

Of course, in Genesis, the 7 day week was established on creation of the world. In Hasidic Kabbalah, there is a system called the Tree of Life where the number 7 shows up in the order of G-d's manifestation. Like the blueprint for the creation of the universe, these 7 are portals to the Divine and aspects of the deepest mystery. It is said that there are 4 worlds and each was created with these 7 aspects, including the "lowest world" which is the one that we find ourselves in. And as we are a microcosm of the macro, these 7 are imprinted in us on our bodies and make up what are called our "soul powers".

Just to confuse you, there are actually 11 soul powers and are referred to as 10! But 4 are considered to be on a deeper, more spiritual level, while the 7 referred to above are where we mostly focus our lives.

By the 2nd night of Passover, we begin to examine and refine these 7 soul powers. Each day for 49 days, we go through a period called, "Counting the Omer" where each one of the 7 is looked at from all sides of its manifestation, one soul power per week.

The Soul Powers (in brief):

Chesed - Loving-kindness

Gevurah - Discipline

Tiferet - Compassion

Netzach - Perseverance

Hod - Humility

Yesod - Bonding

Malchut - Sovereignty

Today we are delving into the Bonding within our Surrender. Complicated? Here's a copy of the email you can sign up for describing in more detail what we are examining:


Iyar 18, 5778 · May 3, 2018


34th Day of the Omer

Tonight, Thursday night, May 3, 2018, we count thirty-four days, which is four weeks and six days of the Omer.

For detailed instructions on how to count the Omer, blessing text, omer calendar, and more information, please click here.


A Spiritual Guide to the Counting of the Omer

Forty-Nine Steps to Personal Refinement

Day Six of Week 5: Yesod of Hod

Humility should not be a lonely experience. It ought to result in deep bonding and commitment. There is no stronger bond than one that comes out of humility. Does my humility separate me from others or bring us closer? Does my humility produce results? Long term results? Does it create an everlasting foundation upon which I and others can rely and build.

Exercise for the day: Use your humility to build something lasting.

You can subscribe to this email here: Subscribe


So, what does this all have to do with 7 days of the week? Each day of the week corresponds to one of these 7 Soul Powers. Human life is a path toward uncovering and connecting to and manifesting the Highest Levels of existence through daily life. And in the midst of our counting - yesterday - the 33rd day, was a holiday connecting us to one of Kabbalah's most masterful of Rabbi's - Shimon bar Yochai, who wrote the Zohar and passed away on this day. Perhaps you felt the energy yesterday.

Here's a link to read more about the holiday of Lag BaOmer. (Which also happens to be my birthday on the Jewish calendar!)

Here's a link to my Pinterest where you'll find all kinds of pins that help you learn more about Judaism and Kabbalah.

Our next class will be on Mother's Day! From 1-3pm in my Soquel office. Please RSVP. I will be talking about the 50th day after we finish the Counting and the month containing the holiday of Shavuos, when morality came down to earth.

Hope you have a beautiful weekend.


Riding the Waves

Posted on April 6, 2018 at 7:35 PM

How often has your life felt like a series of waves? Some days, the body surfing is like a smooth, fun ride - easily floating over the top. At other times, the waves can get quite large and break at the top. During those times you may find yourself holding your breath and diving into the middle, knowing that you'll be able to breathe again once the wave passes. Then there are those times when life feels like being hit by a tidal wave! I have had many times in my life when I've been hit by a tidal wave.

In fact, I am just now recovering from a tidal wave that hit me last year.

What I so love about studying Kabbalah is that it gives me the perspective I need for whenever the tidal wave hits me. It tells me that every challenge I go through in life has been custom-created for the development of my soul. If I can remember that the major tenant of Judaism comes out of its deepest, most beautiful story of the Jewish people's exodus from slavery, then I can find my way out of feeling victimized by my circumstances. I can remember that every exile, every feeling of being trapped between the enemy and a sea, has only one outcome: a miraculous splitting of the sea and a journey to the "Promised Land".

That is the bottom line. There is a final outcome promised for all of our hard labor. In Hebrew, it's called, "Geulah". In English the word translates as redemption but it represents so much more than that. It's the promise of a future world that we can't even fathom from our present state of consciousness.

True Freedom, can only be found within our consciousness. Every time we challenge a limiting belief, we find another road to freedom in a Promised Land. Limiting beliefs are usually formed by our fears. The tidal wave hits and then come all of the ways we become entrapped and enslaved. "I can't, I should, I'll never, It's too much/too hard/more than I can handle, it's always like this and will always be, I'm wrong/defective/being punished, etc., etc." And while some of that is true: we are only human, right? There's still a Power greater than ourselves Who has big Plans for this world.

Holding to those Plans, sets us free. That's when the miracles happen. Because truly, we can't do any of this all by ourselves with our own puny, limited perspectives.

Happy Passover to you and yours. May we all reach the Promised Land with ease and grace and peace. Next year in Jerusalem!